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2006年1月

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The Phone Call
 
 
It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching
television when the phone rang.
"Hello?" I said.
A girl's voice came over the line.  "Can I speak to Ben, please?"
I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably
a wrong number and I was bored.
I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"
"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.
"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."
Silence on the other end... a confused silence.
"Is this Steve?"
My name isn't Steve, either.  This was definitely a wrong number.
So I replied, "Yes, it is.  Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"
"Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him,"
she said in a slightly irritated voice.
I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said
that he would be back at 10:00."
A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"
"The girl he went out with."
"I know that!  I mean... who is she?"
"I don't know her last name.  Look, do you want me to leave a
message for Ben?"
"Yes... please do.  Tell him to call me when he gets home."
She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her
temper flaring.  "I sure will.  Is this Jennifer?"
She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?"
Apparently she wasn't.
"Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00.  I thought you were
her.  Sorry... it was an honest mistake."
"Ben's the one that's made the mistake!  Tell him that Alice called
him and the she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as
soon as he gets home."
I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like
this..."
*click*
 
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вℓσи∂є яαиѕσм

One Blonde To Another

 

 

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

 

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тє¢ниι¢αℓ ѕυρρσят

Tech Support

 

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.

 

 


Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

 


Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

 


Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."

 


Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.
Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."

 


Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

 


Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"

 


Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


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